It's still February. I wasn't sure I would get another blog in this month. It has been thirteen days since my last blog - how do I know - I've been reminded. So here's a short recap.
From February 7 to February 20 - "Closed for Repair!". Not the blog, but me. I survived the kidney infection - I survived the flu bug - I'm still surviving the depression. Now when I use the word depression - I use it in a very loose term. I believe it is more like chemical imbalance. But whatever name I give it - it was there; is there. It was only been since yesterday morning that I have actually enjoyed doing anything - Oh I can function and get jobs done; children driven; meals ordered (you thought I was going to say cooked!); but the enjoyment isn't there. I'm not sure how else to explain it; the best way is in a poem I wrote:
Depression is a word, that I don't understand.
But I know when it's hit - it's like endless quick sand
You're falling and sinking without a bottom in sight
And day after day you want to give up the fight.
Each day is a struggle; the nights even worse.
But slowly and surely you start beating this curse.
Then out of know where, there's a glimmer of hope.
You try to convince yourself you can cope.
Then one morning you wake up; your eyes filled with gleam.
Was I making this up? Was it just a bad dream?
How can such changes take place in my brain.
How can such changes be the cause of such pain.
I don't have the answers; who knows if I will.
But I'm thankful for family, for friends, and for Bill!
(I still got it) Might even try some knitting tonight!
Love to everyone!!!
Night
Stacey
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