Wow - what a day of emotion! No pity parties today (thanks for offering to attend Alisa), but the aftermath (or hangover as I like to call them) is still being felt. It definetly proves my theory (or the Secret's theory) that you put negative energy out there, that's what comes back to you!!! The son arrived home this evening. I haven't really heard from him for the past week (except when I text once and called once). I was sure he was delibertly avoiding me, after all he's a 16 year old boy, and he wasn't on this trip to have fun!!!!!!!!! I made a vow to myself that I was going to pick him up, take him home and not ask one question. Let him talk first!!! Well first of all I waited in the "cell phone" parking at the airport for his long awaited text "we've landed." Still keeping my dignity in tack, I asked him to call when he had his bags and I would drive by and pick him up. That little voice behind my ear was trying to coax me to go park and run in and greet him with open arms!!! Stop it!!
3 mintues, 4 mintues 8 mintues 11 mintues (how many suitcases does he have)Finally the call. "K got my bags." If I had driven any faster to get out of that parking lot, I would have gotten a ticket. So I'm in the line of cars, mostly taxis, creeping along. Finally I get into the left lane to get ahead. Wrong move. There's the son on the other side of a parked taxi and a moving taxi. Quick I say, run to this side of the car. He crosses in the crosswalk, throws his 2 ton suitcase in the back seat, followed by himself. "Thanks" he says. "Your welcome!" Those were last last three words spoken all the way home. It wasn't until we pulled into the driveway when he annouces "Don't you want to hear about my trip!" And despite the well rehearsed plan I had, I had to play the guilt card. "If you had wanted me to know about it, wouldn't you have text me!!!" Ok, guilty, guilty, guilty. Poor kid, he certainly didn't see that coming, nor the flow of tears afterwards. In fact he was so shocked, he started laughing. He couldn't believe I was actually upset - well you know what came next................more tears!!! When he finally realised his little oops, was a "world is coming to an end" for me, hugs and sorry's were exchanged and life returned to normal. "So how was your trip, how did you play, did you have fun, did you have enough money, etc, etc, etc. Note to self: Just say what I want to say at the start, cause if there are going to be tears anyways...
BODY: Got that ab workout in again today. Hopefully I'll start noticing a difference (sooner than later)Didn't keep track of the steps on the pedometer though as I changed into a dress part way through the day to pick up the son! (I'm such a sap)
MIND: Worn out----In addition to the motherly trauma I encountered, I found myself pondering what and where does my future lie! I am still pondering, but feel that a weight is slowing being lifted off my shoulders. When I come to my conclusion I will post the details, but in the meantime know that change is not a bad thing, it's just different. And if I have learned anything in these 40 odd years, it's the saying my sister Robin taught me. "What's the worst thing that can happen?"
So I have disposed of any negative thoughts and am now thinking of Maui, puppies, babies and of course my margaritas!!!
thanks for all the neat emails. I'm having a blast with this blog and am learning so much about myself!! (Sarcasm is my middle name - ya think!)
Night
Stacey
Monday, September 7, 2009
Sunday, September 6, 2009
Day 26 - 339 Days to Go
You're invited to a party. It's the SDW Pity Party. Where: Just follow the black cloud over me: When: apparently today, between 10:00 am and 6:00 pm. Why: Because..........sometimes I can't always be the perky one! - oh wait you missed it. I'll be sure to invite you all again to the next one. They don't happen very often, but when they do, they are a real downer. Hormonal you might say - maybe -. I just like to think we all need one of those days (ok Karen, weekends) to say "poor me." I call it a pity party because basically I'm feeling like nobody (whom I can't control anyways) cares about poor ol'e me! Really!!! The daughter was on FB and I tried talking to her - before I knew it she was signed off. The rational part of my brain knows she is working and trying to entertain a group of First Year Students out camping! Then there's the son. Off on some soccer training and tournament in Langley BC. I've heard through the grape vine they won their last two games. Thought maybe he'd be sharing the news with his Mom. Oh wait, I'm his mom - ---Petty - yes, but petty is allowed at a pitty party - then it becomes a petty pitty party. The party ended when I arrived at my sister-in-laws house and the entire extended family (minus daughter, son, and brother-in-law) enjoyed a dinner and some homemade pie (made in someone else's home) And to think I was going to beg off sick and stay home to party!!!
Mind: Having a petty pitty party isn't a good thing for the mind. So I did the next best thing. I went to the cemetery. I decided to visit my father's ...... "ashes!" Cause really what else is there. I haven't been there in a long long time, and for some reason this seemed like the day to make the trek. I actually tried a couple of weeks ago, but without a map. Never try and find a gravesite without a map (unless you're my father-in-law who just has to find one tree and can locate 40 graves from that) I took my gardening tools with me, and cleaned up the surrounding area; then enjoyed my lunch in the peace and quiet! (not counting the little black squirrel that was making noise - I think he eyed my banana)
Body: I didn't want to get out of bed this morning - for the third time. But I did - I even did my ab work out. I really need to get on that more faithfully. Could use some encouragement on that end! Despite visiting the cemetery, only 6000 steps registered today on the pedometer. Maybe I should have visited other sites!!!!!! NOT. Looking forward to a relaxing day tomorrow - all this partying is really tiring!
Night!
Stacey
Mind: Having a petty pitty party isn't a good thing for the mind. So I did the next best thing. I went to the cemetery. I decided to visit my father's ...... "ashes!" Cause really what else is there. I haven't been there in a long long time, and for some reason this seemed like the day to make the trek. I actually tried a couple of weeks ago, but without a map. Never try and find a gravesite without a map (unless you're my father-in-law who just has to find one tree and can locate 40 graves from that) I took my gardening tools with me, and cleaned up the surrounding area; then enjoyed my lunch in the peace and quiet! (not counting the little black squirrel that was making noise - I think he eyed my banana)
Body: I didn't want to get out of bed this morning - for the third time. But I did - I even did my ab work out. I really need to get on that more faithfully. Could use some encouragement on that end! Despite visiting the cemetery, only 6000 steps registered today on the pedometer. Maybe I should have visited other sites!!!!!! NOT. Looking forward to a relaxing day tomorrow - all this partying is really tiring!
Night!
Stacey
Saturday, September 5, 2009
Day 25 - 340 Days to Go
I must be getting old. Our day was all planned out today, and them something got changed and I was "ticked off". It wasn't even anything major, but it was a change. So I pulled out my "Shift Changers" and then I went wait - I want to feel this feeling for a minute (not sure why I enjoyed it) I thought through why I was annoyed (down graded from ticked). I had every right to feel like this - NOT - this change didn't just involve me so really I must have just been bothered (down graded from annoyed) because I didn't have control. I wanted it done my way and I had no alternative plan. Result - I just stayed in bed longer and redid my day!!! So instead of going from "ticked" to just fine, I went the detour route through annoyed and bothered - took a little more energy but I think the journey was worth it.
K, another reason I must be getting old - I watched some golf on TV. Not that I found it entertaining or riveting, but it was the LPGA and I thought it was so cool that I could recognize the course and some of the holes they were playing. Does that make me a golf nerd? Hope not! The difference in watching it on tv and being there, I could giggle and talk! (It was to myself, but dammit, it's the principal)
BODY: It's 9:00 pm and I've only gotten in 7000 steps so I'm hoping to walk around picking up this and that and gathering a few more steps. I did get a lot accomplished today; cleaning kids rooms; changing burnt out lightbulbs; emptying dishwashers and garbage cans, so I like to think I got a bit of bending and muscle workout.
MIND: I decluttered my office desk today - thus decluttered my mind. While doing so, I managed to have some nice conversations with friends.(via Facebook) First there was Linda who brought me up to date on the details of the soccer tournament in Langley. I thought my son might have kept me posted, but I'm pretty sure he's busy catching up on homework!!!!! Then I had a nice long chat with Grace. And surprise, surprise, we actually set a date to get together. We always say we will but we both took the bull by the horns and did it. It's a couple of weeks away, but I am so looking forward to it. I realize I've know Grace for more that 25 years. Thank goodness for internet - or who knows where and when we'd meet up with friends. So thank you ladies for some enjoyable chats, whilst I was straightening up my office. You'll both be included on my list tonight.
Night
Stacey
K, another reason I must be getting old - I watched some golf on TV. Not that I found it entertaining or riveting, but it was the LPGA and I thought it was so cool that I could recognize the course and some of the holes they were playing. Does that make me a golf nerd? Hope not! The difference in watching it on tv and being there, I could giggle and talk! (It was to myself, but dammit, it's the principal)
BODY: It's 9:00 pm and I've only gotten in 7000 steps so I'm hoping to walk around picking up this and that and gathering a few more steps. I did get a lot accomplished today; cleaning kids rooms; changing burnt out lightbulbs; emptying dishwashers and garbage cans, so I like to think I got a bit of bending and muscle workout.
MIND: I decluttered my office desk today - thus decluttered my mind. While doing so, I managed to have some nice conversations with friends.(via Facebook) First there was Linda who brought me up to date on the details of the soccer tournament in Langley. I thought my son might have kept me posted, but I'm pretty sure he's busy catching up on homework!!!!! Then I had a nice long chat with Grace. And surprise, surprise, we actually set a date to get together. We always say we will but we both took the bull by the horns and did it. It's a couple of weeks away, but I am so looking forward to it. I realize I've know Grace for more that 25 years. Thank goodness for internet - or who knows where and when we'd meet up with friends. So thank you ladies for some enjoyable chats, whilst I was straightening up my office. You'll both be included on my list tonight.
Night
Stacey
Friday, September 4, 2009
Day 24 - 341 Days to Go
FRIDAY! - thank goodness. I am so in need of some extra sleep. Haven't been sleeping well during the evening - no time for short cat naps! Thank goodness for my MonaVie Energy Drink.
Bill and I headed out to Priddis Greens to watch the lady golfers. LPGA tournament. We parked the car at the Spruce Meadows parking lot and caught the bus to the golf tournament. New experience for me. I thought it was going to be boring, just list watching golf on TV. But it was actually enjoyable. Sort of like a Flames game, where you get to people watch. Listening to some of the talk, these people know their golfers; their scores over the past couple of days; what they are wearing; and probably their shoe size. I was a little nervous standing off to the side as they took they initial swing on Hole 10. I've watched Bill and the kids golf before, that would not have been a good place to stand. But then I was even more nervous when Bill suggested we get a head and sit and wait for the golfers at the green. He was pretty sure that we wouldn't get hit with a ball. I was able to control my anxiety by making sure I was sitting behind a really old tall guy. The ball would have to hit him first. But these ladies were amazing. Well I can say I've been to an important golf tournament. (hardest part was trying to be quiet when the marshalls indicated to do so.) I just had the urge to giggle or sneeze!!!!!
BODY: Well all that walking around the golf course got my pedometer over 10,000 steps. That doesn't even include the walking and moving stuff at work this morning. That was a nice work out!
MIND: I caught myself being annoyed at a few people today. Mostly other drivers, construction, and loud people on the bus. But I used my "Secret Shifters" and thought of cute puppies, Maui and Reggaefest! As soon as the smile came on my face, those negative thoughts were gone! It really does work!
Very tired tonight - so will do a quick blessings low down and off to sleep.
Night
Stacey
PS Hi to Cheryl - got your email. Glad you're enjoying the news.! Talk soon
Bill and I headed out to Priddis Greens to watch the lady golfers. LPGA tournament. We parked the car at the Spruce Meadows parking lot and caught the bus to the golf tournament. New experience for me. I thought it was going to be boring, just list watching golf on TV. But it was actually enjoyable. Sort of like a Flames game, where you get to people watch. Listening to some of the talk, these people know their golfers; their scores over the past couple of days; what they are wearing; and probably their shoe size. I was a little nervous standing off to the side as they took they initial swing on Hole 10. I've watched Bill and the kids golf before, that would not have been a good place to stand. But then I was even more nervous when Bill suggested we get a head and sit and wait for the golfers at the green. He was pretty sure that we wouldn't get hit with a ball. I was able to control my anxiety by making sure I was sitting behind a really old tall guy. The ball would have to hit him first. But these ladies were amazing. Well I can say I've been to an important golf tournament. (hardest part was trying to be quiet when the marshalls indicated to do so.) I just had the urge to giggle or sneeze!!!!!
BODY: Well all that walking around the golf course got my pedometer over 10,000 steps. That doesn't even include the walking and moving stuff at work this morning. That was a nice work out!
MIND: I caught myself being annoyed at a few people today. Mostly other drivers, construction, and loud people on the bus. But I used my "Secret Shifters" and thought of cute puppies, Maui and Reggaefest! As soon as the smile came on my face, those negative thoughts were gone! It really does work!
Very tired tonight - so will do a quick blessings low down and off to sleep.
Night
Stacey
PS Hi to Cheryl - got your email. Glad you're enjoying the news.! Talk soon
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Day 23 - 342 Days to Go
"Are we there yet?" Just joking. I'm not sure this counting down was a good idea. Twenty three days sounds like a lot, but then you look at 342 days to do and that seems like a life time away!!!
BODY: Only got my steps in today, and even then only 5500ish. Not one of my better days. But I came home from a full day of work (especially for me) with this nagging just about headache. It was one of those slight sore heads, but not a full fledged headache, but if you don't close your eyes for a bit, could be head aches. Try explaining that to the doctor next time. So I added on my 5500 steps to my http://getfit.asc-csa.gc.ca/eng/missions/expedition20-21/getfit.asp website and I am only 40 km from the space station, at which time they are going to open up the hatch to welcome me in....... I wonder if I am going to have to walk all the way back again!!!! (maybe I can just catch a ride with the next shuttle)
MIND: I'm listening to the "Secret" again on the way to work. It's sort of like watching a movie in that, if you watch (or listen)to it a second time, you pick up things you missed the first time. I am putting out positive thoughts and I know (you have to believe not hope) that positive things will be coming my way!!!!!
Had a good day at work! Got to meet up with some co-workers from last year and some new co-workers for this year. I'm excited to see how ECS will progress!!!
Many blessings tonight
Stacey
BODY: Only got my steps in today, and even then only 5500ish. Not one of my better days. But I came home from a full day of work (especially for me) with this nagging just about headache. It was one of those slight sore heads, but not a full fledged headache, but if you don't close your eyes for a bit, could be head aches. Try explaining that to the doctor next time. So I added on my 5500 steps to my http://getfit.asc-csa.gc.ca/eng/missions/expedition20-21/getfit.asp website and I am only 40 km from the space station, at which time they are going to open up the hatch to welcome me in....... I wonder if I am going to have to walk all the way back again!!!! (maybe I can just catch a ride with the next shuttle)
MIND: I'm listening to the "Secret" again on the way to work. It's sort of like watching a movie in that, if you watch (or listen)to it a second time, you pick up things you missed the first time. I am putting out positive thoughts and I know (you have to believe not hope) that positive things will be coming my way!!!!!
Had a good day at work! Got to meet up with some co-workers from last year and some new co-workers for this year. I'm excited to see how ECS will progress!!!
Many blessings tonight
Stacey
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Day 22 - 343 Days to Go
""""You find out who your friends are. Somebodys gonna drop everything; run out and crank up their car; hit the gas, get there fast; never stop to think "what's in it for me; or its way to far; they just show on up; with their big ol' heart""""...Tracey Lawrence and Friends
I just love this song. Every time I hear it I think of how lucky I am to have such a great circle of friends. A friend is someone you can call up, even though you haven't spoken to them all summer, and just keep the conversation going. I love those friendships. And thank goodness for the internet. I've been able to keep in touch with many friends that have moved away; reconnected with high school friends; even keep in contact with busy best friends. Sometimes we only have time to say hi, and it's easier and quicker via the internet highway!!!
BODY: Took Miss Maya for her daily walk again today. She has made friends with the local cougar statue on our street! It is a life size cougar. (Don't tell Maya it's not real) We pass the cougar at the end of our walk, and Maya tugs and pulls (I'm working on that) as soon as she see's Cougar. She used to bark at it and keep her distance. Now she runs up the steps, gives it a sniff, runs down the steps, circles around the grass and sometimes she repeats the entire ritual again. Once she's finished, she's back on the sidewalk, and calmly walking home. (no tugging no pulling) nothing. The cougars owners have been out numerous times and welcome Maya in their garden with open arms!
MIND: Speaking of Maya - there is a quote from the "Secret". Family pets are wonderful, because they put you in a great emotional state. When you feel love for your pet, that's a great state of love and it's going to bring goodness into your life.
Boy does Maya do that for Me.
Early night again tonight - many blessings!
Stacey
I just love this song. Every time I hear it I think of how lucky I am to have such a great circle of friends. A friend is someone you can call up, even though you haven't spoken to them all summer, and just keep the conversation going. I love those friendships. And thank goodness for the internet. I've been able to keep in touch with many friends that have moved away; reconnected with high school friends; even keep in contact with busy best friends. Sometimes we only have time to say hi, and it's easier and quicker via the internet highway!!!
BODY: Took Miss Maya for her daily walk again today. She has made friends with the local cougar statue on our street! It is a life size cougar. (Don't tell Maya it's not real) We pass the cougar at the end of our walk, and Maya tugs and pulls (I'm working on that) as soon as she see's Cougar. She used to bark at it and keep her distance. Now she runs up the steps, gives it a sniff, runs down the steps, circles around the grass and sometimes she repeats the entire ritual again. Once she's finished, she's back on the sidewalk, and calmly walking home. (no tugging no pulling) nothing. The cougars owners have been out numerous times and welcome Maya in their garden with open arms!
MIND: Speaking of Maya - there is a quote from the "Secret". Family pets are wonderful, because they put you in a great emotional state. When you feel love for your pet, that's a great state of love and it's going to bring goodness into your life.
Boy does Maya do that for Me.
Early night again tonight - many blessings!
Stacey
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Day 21 - 344 Days to Go
September 1, 2009 - It's finally arrived. There must be 20 birthdays this month that I want to acknowledge. There must be alot of people that really celebrate at New Years!!!!!!!
Started back to work today. It was with mixed emotion. I have been at the same organization for I think 8 years now. This is the first time I have walked into work and actually felt like I didn't belong. Not sure why; haven't really pursued this feeling yet, but it is still with me as of tonight. There were alot of changes over the summer and maybe I'm just reacting to the new decor! I am in control of my own thoughts, so I'll will try and think about this a little bit more tonight.
Talked to a good friend who had some distressing news. I hope I was able to comfort her a little. Words just never seem to be enough! She knows I am thinking of her and her daughter right now!
BODY: Didn't get in my treadmill before, but I did take Maya for a walk after supper. I also make a concious decision to park in the fartherest parking spot at the Safeway this afternoon. I like to think I did it for the exercise, with the hidden bonus that I was at the North Hill Shopping Center and there are many many seniors who shop there.
MIND: I'm smiling and it does make me feel better. Miss the son and the daughter. (but don't tell anybody - I wouldn't want it to get out) Will go to bed soon and remember everything I am thankful for.
Tomorrow will be a better day - I am in control of my own thoughts!
Stacey
Started back to work today. It was with mixed emotion. I have been at the same organization for I think 8 years now. This is the first time I have walked into work and actually felt like I didn't belong. Not sure why; haven't really pursued this feeling yet, but it is still with me as of tonight. There were alot of changes over the summer and maybe I'm just reacting to the new decor! I am in control of my own thoughts, so I'll will try and think about this a little bit more tonight.
Talked to a good friend who had some distressing news. I hope I was able to comfort her a little. Words just never seem to be enough! She knows I am thinking of her and her daughter right now!
BODY: Didn't get in my treadmill before, but I did take Maya for a walk after supper. I also make a concious decision to park in the fartherest parking spot at the Safeway this afternoon. I like to think I did it for the exercise, with the hidden bonus that I was at the North Hill Shopping Center and there are many many seniors who shop there.
MIND: I'm smiling and it does make me feel better. Miss the son and the daughter. (but don't tell anybody - I wouldn't want it to get out) Will go to bed soon and remember everything I am thankful for.
Tomorrow will be a better day - I am in control of my own thoughts!
Stacey
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